She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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