I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
thus making me awesome and them whores
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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