Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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