I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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