Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
