im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
