If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
