My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
