Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Alive.
So much puke
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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