I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
