Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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