I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Did you just see the Batmobile???
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
