saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
