I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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