dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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