(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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