So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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