I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
