I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
