If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
