i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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