we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
