the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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