You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
