I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
