Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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