we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
