where am i from again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
