someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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