Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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