Porn is love you can see.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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