I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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