I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize