i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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