she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
