6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
