I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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