I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize