Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
