Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
