There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
