so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
