You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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