Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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