Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
PANTIES FOUND
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