you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
