my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
