Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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