i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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