as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
