Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
