who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
