He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
