pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
