His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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