Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
