I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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