Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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