I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
