I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
