i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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