is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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