i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
