I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
