So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
