Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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