I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
