Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
