Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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