so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
